Door Darshan - in more ways than one!

I was watching Hum Aapke Hain Koun the other day and Renuka Sahane's toothy grin reminded me of this erstwhile hugely popular program on Doordarshan called Surabhi.

An ever smiling Renuka Sahane and a somber Siddharth Kak hosted this show sitting on a colorful razai in the studio, while the rest of the team went to remote corners of India showcasing people's talents, bringing exotic locations into our drawing rooms and giving skilled artisans their two minutes of fame.

The 'aaj ka sawaal' and the much awaited hint before signing off made the postcard the most sought after commodity after onions. Each episode saw a new record being created in terms of the number of post-cards recieved. So much so that the government introduced 'competition postcards' to prevent the postal department from running into loss. The lucky draw at the end of the show decided which three lucky people were going to far off lands for "do raat aur teen din ki stay".

I remember borrowing postcards from my grandfather and sending in my answers too; but they never picked my postcard ever! :(

Quote from memory

Soumya and I had a pact between us before every Kannada test and exam during our Pre-University days. The deal was that she would study half the portion allocated for the test and I would do the remaining half. On our way to the test, we would narrate/explain to each other the parts we had studied.

On one such occasion, when the portion for the exam was vast and we had two sections to study – detailed and non-detailed, I was assigned the simple detailed part while she took it upon herself to study the more challenging non-detailed section, which happened to be Rashtrakavi Kuvempu’s Sri Ramayana Darshanam.

Convinced that she could not do justice to the masterpiece in the usual thirty minutes’ time; Soumya suggested we start for college earlier than usual on the day of the exam. After the standard “Tumba easy Kane” and “You have listened in class; haven’t you?” Madam Soumya started off with the narration. It sounded simple enough in the beginning; most of the incidents familiar. But as the narration continued and new characters were introduced into the plot, I started losing track. Add to that, Soumya’s “There are three ways of analyzing this statement. One:…..” and I was lost! At the end of the story-telling and retelling, I had a vague idea of the story but couldn’t remember the names of any of the characters other than Rama’s immediate family. After repeated re-caps, I memorized some names, but wasn’t sure if it belonged to a Rishi or Rakshasi. After I had settled on one of them, I could not tell which of the dozen rishis or rakshasis went by that name! But I wasn’t disheartened; this was after all, the non-detailed part; the questions would not get into the details.

The bell rang to announce the start of the exam. Not having used the Kannada script since the last test which was four months ago, I had trouble picking up speed. Due to the major influence English has on our day-to-day conversation, there were times when I was groping for the Kannada equivalent of simple words like “problem” and was tempted to go ahead with “praablam”. Save for these small hitches, the detailed section of the question paper was a breeze.

Satisfied, I moved on to the Non-detailed section. Now there are times in life when you feel helpless. You wish you had practiced copying. You wish you could just peep into someone’s paper and find the answer. You wish you had studied. You wish, but it’s too late. So there were all these 1 and 2 mark questions staring at me and asking me the names of people who did this-and-that. I wish I was confused; that way there was a remote chance of getting some answers right, but I wasn’t; I simply went blank. I didn’t remember a single name! Hoping to recall the names later, I proceeded to the not-so-detailed part of the non-detailed section and was able to answer most questions. Soumya’s “another way of looking at this…” came in handy here. Very soon there was just enough time to fill in the answers to the 1 and 2 marks Q’s and with no miracle happening, I ended up writing the inevitable. I had, “ObbaLu Rakshsi”, “Obba Rishi” and “Ondu Pakshi” all over the paper!

A week rolled by and I had nearly forgotten my dismal performance in the Kannada exam. I had moved on to more important matters like PCMB, when one afternoon Prof. Sreenivasa Shrama read aloud an answer, namely “ObbaLu Raakshasi” from my paper, to the whole class. Did anyone hear my name? Yes?

...and there are times in life, when you wish the earth would just swallow you!

Sweet n Sour

Vaish’s post reminded me of this tangy sweet we used to have as kids. Most domestic flights in India offer this along with the other sweets these days; and, a variant of it is available at all FoodWorld outlets as well.

Here’s how you can make it at home:

Tamarind, jaggery, and a pinch each of salt and chilli powder – place them all together on a hard surface and pound them with a heavy stone till the ingredients blend, resulting in a yummy homogenous mass. Draw out a small quantity of the mixture and roll it between your palms, till it assumes a spherical shape. Pop it into your mouth and savour the piquant taste!

Like it? :-)

Ram Navmi

Several temples, big and small, lined the road to my school. As a God-fearing young girl, I religiously stopped for a minute at each shrine and offered my prayers. From “Let the Physics teacher be on leave today” to “Let classes be suspended for some reason”, I always had a plea to make. I’m not sure if any of these prayers were answered, but I kept the faith and prayed, and adorned my forehead with various hues of kum-kum, ranging from pink to maroon, each day.

Ram Navmi usually coincided with the last day of school before a two-month long summer vacation, and also happened to be the day the results of the final exams were announced. The day saw me and a lot of other kids walk to school cheerfully, with big plans for the summer holidays, and without the burden of school or school bags weighing us down for a change.

One temple along the way was dedicated to Lord Hanuman and his being the greatest disciple of Lord Ram, called for a grand celebration of the festival. As devotees thronged to offer their prayers to the two deities; volunteers – mostly young men, distributed cool Belada hannina Paanaka and majjige, out of large earthen pots. The cold juice and buttermilk provided some respite from the scorching summer heat and was rarely refused by a passerby. Larger temples distributed kosumbri on pieces of plantain leaves and it was not uncommon to see people take home the “Prasada”. These together with Huli Avalakki and Rasayana were the delicacies associated with Ram Navmi.

Ram Navmi was special. While Ugadi brought with it a brand new calendar year, “Pass” on the result sheet on Ram Navmi, marked the beginning of a new academic year; starting with two months of fun and frolic!

Thinking of College…….

Lectures:
Cows and Bulls, Hangman, Listen intermittently, Giggle, Nod when you meet the lecturer’s gaze.

Labs:
Data sheets – the only thing that costs 25 ps a piece and still no one buys them.
PK supervises connection: “This wire will goes to here aa?”
Copy graphs; also the Aim, Apparatus, Theory, Procedure and Result! And….Inference!

Mass bunk:
Indefinite suspension. Enter HOD’s room. Get blasted for an hour. Blame lecturers. Classes resume.

Two days before internals:
Ask for important questions.

Day before internals:
Beg for important questions. PK gives seven. Shamelessly ask for the most important five.

Internals:
Blue books – sometimes empty, sometimes full. (Before the test I mean!)

First year: Study a week before internals.
Second year: A day before internals.
Third year: During the interval between two internals.
Fourth year: Study? What study?

Three types of people: Those who copy. Those who help others copy. Those who sit in the first bench and do not participate in such activities.

Internal Results:
One whole period wonderfully spent. Bargain for marks. Complete chaos.

Study Holidays:
Krishna Xerox: Bump into school mates you didn’t want to meet.
“I heard the exams are getting postponed”. “Who told you?” “No one, I just heard”!!!!
Exams are on schedule. Mug, mug, mug. I mean “mugs” of coffee!

Day of the exam:
Cram in the bus stop, in the bus, on the walk to the department, outside the exam hall.
“Please check your pockets desks and other places (!!). If you are found to have chits, you will be debarred for three years only” Three years ONLY??

Semester Holidays:
One week breather between semesters.

Results:
Pass. Fail. Revaluation.

Yet another semester……..

Bedtime Story

Among other things in life, confronting people who snore in their sleep and getting them to accept it, is most frustrating. Accusations made by entire sleep-deprived households are fiercely denied by the guilty lot, who win in the end, simply due to lack of adequate proof.

--------

Family functions and get-togethers are fun. All’s well during the day, but come night, everyone’s worried about the sleeping arrangements. There’s always an uncle who’s notorious for his snoring, and everyone wants a bed as far away from him as possible. So you have anxious relatives approaching the lady of the house to put them in another room, even balcony, but nowhere close to Mr. Snore.

When there are few rooms and there is not enough room if you quarantine uncle Snore, the ones who failed to approach the hostess are teamed with him. So in the morning you have this bleary eyed group of people, complaining of lack of sleep, thanks to Mr. Snore and their own negligence. For this bunch, it’s “once bitten, twice shy”. For the next unsuspecting lot, it’s a sleepless night again!
Very soon half the family has lost sleep over the snore.

--------

Hmm that’s bad, but why doesn’t anyone approach uncle Snore with the problem, and explain the inconvenience he is causing? He might understand and choose a far corner to snore and snooze while the rest of the family sleeps in peace.

Oh we’ve done that. All he ever says is, “Snore? Me? Please! No!”

New Look

I don't particularly like change. In fact I prefer constancy and predictability greatly to change and surprises; but this time, I made an exception. So here we are, with a brand new template! How do you like it? :-)

Ruler rules!

Resorting to unreasonable punitive measures, on the pretext of inculcating immaculate behavior in children, is at best ineffective and at worst, detrimental to a child’s growth.

I do not see how writing , “I will not talk in class” a thousand times can curb the habit and instill what is called discipline in a child. I do not see how being driven out of the class for not completing home-work can make the child a better student. Will humiliating punishments such as, parading a kid around the school for failing in a subject improve his grades? I think not. Hitting a second grader with a hard wooden scale on the knuckles will only make him detest school and studies further. ‘Stand up on the bench’ and ‘pinch the ear till it turns red’, might be the oldest forms of punishment, but they also are the most embarrassing.

When I was a kid studying in a primary school in Bangalore, this was the norm. I loathed school because of these cruel punishments and the insensitive teachers who meted out the punishment. Also, although I didn’t know it then, the very system of education that called for such behavior on their part.

Between the ages of three and ten, a child’s mind is very impressionable. Insulting children at this age, in front of their peers can have harmful and far reaching consequences. Sadly, most teachers fail to understand this. Why so? Aren’t students preparing to be elementary school teachers taught this in their training program? Don’t schools test them on this before they are recruited? Or are school managements, in their bid to make more money, struggle to secure more ranks in board exams, indifferent to crucial aspects like the quality of their primary school staff?

Assuming that the best candidates are selected, is their conduct with students monitored on a regular basis? Is suitable action taken against them if found guilty? Is there some means to determine if every child gets his/her due attention? Do they play favorites?
It is not enough to address concerns raised by parents and straighten things up only then. For rarely is such abuse reported to the parent by the ward, for the fear of being condemned and sidelined further in the future. It is the responsibility of the school to ensure that a working system is in place to take up these issues.

Going one step further, I would suggest that the education department should formulate and implement stringent rules, perhaps laws, to safeguard children from such seemingly harmless, but actually brutal ways of teachers. School managements, on their part, should adhere to these rules. Perhaps then, we can expect better behavior from the ones who enforce them on children – teachers!

Tummy Tale

I hated going to school. Everyday, I would come up with a new ailment to avoid school, the most common of all being stomach-ache; because with time I had discovered that it was one complaint that could not be verified. You cannot feign a fever or a cough or cold. They have symptoms that are there for all to see. No one will believe that a 7-8 year old can have a headache. There are few other diseases that one is aware of at that age, so stomach ache it was, on most days.

I was so irregular to school because of this, that one day; the head mistress suggested to my mother that she get a thorough medical examination done on me, to confirm that it was nothing serious. Though my mother knew that I was pretending most of the time - to bunk school, she wanted to be sure it was harmless. So, off we went to the HAL hospital the next day. I was game because it meant a day off school, for a valid reason. Those mean teachers would summon me to their desk in the afternoon the next day, and make me describe the experience. They would pity poor me, and gossip about it with their colleagues later in the day. Soon the whole of the primary section would know about it.

But, there was a problem. I had never had a stomach ache ever. What would I say if the doctor asked questions? Surely he wouldn’t expect a seven year old to express clearly what she was going through. What if after the examination, they found out that I was perfectly alright? They would report my condition to my mother and I would be ashamed of myself, for lying. What was worse was that, I would have to come up with fresh excuses to bunk school. After considerable thought over this matter during the course of the bus journey, I zeroed in on throat pain. However, I secretly hoped that the doctor would find something seriously wrong with me, and confine me to the bed for at least a month.

We reached HAL hospital and after breakfast at the hospital canteen, which I hated, but my mother claimed was quite hygienic, we headed to the pediatric department. My mother would have been happier if I had a stomach ache that day, in which case the doctor would be able to examine me while I was in pain, but it was not to be. I already had something to fill in the space for ‘reason for absence’ in the first page of the home-work diary. Besides, I knew better than to fool a doctor.

The examination itself was very disappointing. I had imagined it would take at least two hours, including the wait to meet the specialist. But it took less than half an hour. There was no long line ahead of us, and the doctor was not one to waste time on false-stomach aches. He asked me where exactly the pain occurred, and I pointed to a region I thought was most likely to lead to complications. But sadly, it turned out to be the most harmless zone. Appendicitis was out of the question and there was little else a stomach ache could mean at that age. All I needed to do to get rid of the recurring ache was, to drink plenty of water. That was all, no prescription, no tablets. This was embarrasing!

So out we went, my mother clearly relieved and I totally devastated; and she asked me quite nonchalantly, “Did you really have a stomach ache ever?” What could I say? – “From now on, it’s going to be throat pain”?