It's a girl! :-) :-(

Nearly all of my mother’s friends that I met when I was in my teens said how my mom had longed for a baby girl all through her pregnancy. With her two elder sisters having had two sons each and with my brother being her first born, my mother was tired of all the boys in the family and desperately wanted a daughter.

My cousins got married a few years ago and when their baby was due, they were hoping for a baby girl too. More recently, my sister-in-law was in a similar situation. After looking at a scan of the baby’s face during the later stages of her pregnancy, everyone seemed to think it was going to be a boy. We were all proved wrong, and much to our delight I must add, when she gave birth to a cherubic baby girl!

While 24 years ago my mother wanted a girl after having had a son already, these young couples seem to prefer a single daughter to an only son. All this seems to hint that things appear to be finally looking up for the girl child in our society. Well, not so soon.

While on one end we have the financially stable, educated class of society pining for the girl child; on the other end of the spectrum we have female infanticide and sale of baby girls.

Muniratna, my maid servant’s daughter in Bangalore survived a near fatal abortion in the 4th month of her pregnancy after discovering that a fourth daughter was on her way. It is against the law to reveal the sex of fetus, but, there’s nothing that bribe can’t do. They are barely able to make ends meet, with her husband’s single income; but that doesn’t stop them from trying for a son after three daughters. She agrees with me that today, girls have equal opportunities and do just as well as their male counterparts. Being financially independent, they can look after parents just as well in their old-age; then, why the bias?

She tells me she can earn the respect of her family members only if she can bear a baby boy! Her in-laws want a boy to carry the family name forward – a vamshodhaarak. Another girl would mean more expenses, hence the abortion. More expenses? “We have to get her married and that costs a lot of money.” she says. And then there is the dowry. It never occurred to me that people would prefer a son to a daughter to avoid marriage expenses. Our culture, which expects the bride’s family to bear the cost of a lavish wedding, while the groom’s family sits back and enjoys the festivities without having to spend a penny, is to blame.

Educated, financially independent girls, put their foot down alright. But when there are more children than a small income can support, who gets the preference for higher education? Won't the birth of a son, thwart Muniratna’s daughters’ chances of that valuable education?